Reflections
We are now seven weeks into the school year and settling into a routine. This year, more so than others, has brought tears and frustration. I’m frustrated with things that are out of my control and saddened by situations out of my hands.
This year, I am teaching a cotaught Algebra 1 class. I am blessed to work with an amazing co teacher. She helps me and the students so much. The students in this class are so incredible. I’ve never had a group of students that crave affirmation and blossom with just a little encouragement. My tears have come as a result of hearing their life stories. So many of my students come from heart wrenching backgrounds. In my worst nightmares, I could not imagine facing what they have survived. The fact that some of them manage to get out of bed in the morning is miraculous in itself. Forget the fact that I have to teach them to factor a trinomial, I just want to teach them to function in society. Many tears and prayers have been spent on this group of teens. They have captured my heart.
My frustration comes with some former students and coworkers. Since I do teach a remedial or repeater class, I often have students who have never experienced any success in math. They come to me hating school and viewing me as the enemy. Through the magic of Standards Based Grading, I convince them that I am not out to get them, just measure their learning. Through Dan Meyer type activites, I get them to view math as a puzzle and somewhat fun. Some students have their first taste of success in my class. (It’s not me, it’s the blog world that inspires me.) I love the end of the semester when I hear things like, “I’ve never gotten an A in math,” or “I had fun in your class,” or my personal favorite, “I don’t hate math anymore.” (Once again not me, it’s all of you I steal from.)
These kids leave the safety of my room where homework is not graded and seldom required. They leave the world of retesting where tests are meant to measure learning and guide my instruction instead of punishing the student. Most of the students leave my alternative class and enter the traditional math classroom. (These are not students who aspire to go to college.) The students shut down in the traditional environment. They hate math again and stop working. Several come back and visit and we have heart to heart talks. I try to tell them that if they aren’t trying I can’t help them. I offer to tutor them and help them in anyway, but faced with 30 problems of book work every night and large chapter tests, these students revert back into a pattern of failure.
I am frustrated with them and their lack of perseverance. They have tasted success and it was not enough to inspire them. I am frustrated with traditional teaching. We are not getting this particular group of kids ready for college. We are trying to prepare them for life. This generation is different and requires new teaching techniques. Outdated pedagogy is not the answer. Most of all, I am frustrated with myself. Am I doing this group of students a disservice by trying to create an educational utopia in my room where failure is not an option and effort is rewarded? Is allowing a student multiple attempts to demonstrate mastery setting them up for failure in the future? Since I am the radical teacher in my building with my wild ideas about education I have few coworkers to ask this to, so my blog friends, here is the question: Have you encountered this in your schools? Are students who have been successful for you, failing for others? How do you justify this without labeling yourself as the ‘easy’ teacher? (I know this is several questions and not just one. Comments are not just appreciated, but desperately needed. Thank you!)